School’s only been in session for like, a week, but I’m already sick of my kids. And I don’t even have kids! But damn if I haven’t been called into the principal’s office one too many times because little Richard can’t fucking behave and now I’m behind on my work and is he doing to do his homework and I don’t want to go to his soccer game because he sucks and cries a lot.
Which is why Bay ledges seemingly spoke out to me and called my name. And only my name apparently considering that the people next to me managed to somehow smuggle their little shits into the venue like drug mules smuggling coke.
I’ll let it slide this time.
I obviously moved away from them. Bay Ledges was my night to chill, relax, and enjoy a mini vacation. And like hell I was going to let something like kids ruin that.
I wasn’t going to let them ruin my night with Mishegas, who DJ’d his way through a slow and chill set that, at points, thanks to the clever lighting technician, made me feel underwater. Not like I was drowning. Like I was relaxing. Which may actually be the end part of drowning so… maybe I did feel like I was drowning.
I definitely didn’t feel like I was at home in Colorado though, that’s for sure.
Or my night with Bay Ledges, who could arguably be called the coolest teacher ever. Bay Ledges has the vibe of a teacher who has a special handshake with all his students and then smokes weed with them after class (hi Ferg!). The one who yells “pop quiz” but the pop quiz is you have to sing the chorus of your favourite song.
And every song was a pop quiz tonight. Every song had a special part just for us to parrot back. And we never failed the quiz. Whether it was making weird sounds, singing actual words, yelling random shit, or simply wiggling where we stood, Bay Ledges passed us all with flying colours. And I think we passed him with flying colours too.
Bay Ledges is that teacher who you don’t get anxiety around because you just can’t be as carefree as him. Did you accidentally say something silly? Bay Ledges will say something ten times sillier. Did you accidentally burp? Bay Ledges will burp ten times louder. Did you accidentally shit your pants? Bay Ledges will shit ten pants just so people forget about you!
That’s the type of guy he seemed like. And that’s why I was totally cool spending my mini vacation seeing someone who I compared to a teacher.
Whenever I see who’s coming to Colorado, I always look for names I know. Maybe I’ve been doing it all wrong. Maybe I should be looking for names I need. Because I definitely needed this mini vacation.
