Local music is such a blast. You get a bunch of adults acting like nervous school children on stage for your entertainment. Which is where I found myself tonight – watching Folded Face, Beggars Union, Orna, and Heart Shaped Zombie. And let me tell you, it was much more preferable than where I was last night, which was the hospital.
Yes, I was the one in the sling; yes, I was on pain meds carefully spaced out so I could still drive; and yes, I’m doing this all one handed. But enough about my accolades, let’s talk local music! I’ve been on stage. And I’ve witnessed bands on stage. Ranging from Grammy winners to, “this is our first show.” And being at this show tonight, while it was adorable watching these adults act so nervously on stage, here’s some things I wanted to shout at them.
But being polite, I didn’t. I wrote them down instead.
1. Make a Mistake!
I know these songs are your babies, but make a mistake. Folded Face and Orna played technical type rock that required concentration, and I know this because, well, I saw it. I saw the immense concentration in their faces. But the great thing about being so young is that we don’t know what the live version of your music is supposed to sound like!
Take Orna for instance. They play around with time signatures which makes for a fun sound, but also makes for a complex performance. Except we don’t know what the fuck the proper performance is actually supposed to be. How do we know lead singer Jessica isn’t supposed to sing in 4/4 while bassist Travis plays in 3/8 and guitarist Drae plays in 3/4 so drummer Garrett can keep time in 9/16?
We don’t. So make those mistakes! Because we’re none the wiser!
2. Be Bossy!
I love how timid local musicians get. Like Heart Shaped Zombie politely asking people to sing and dance, but only if they want. It’s adorable! But also, I’m an introvert with a broken arm, so I’m going to decline your request.
Unless you fuckin’ make me do it. Tell me the lyrics and get a dance beat going while you tell me what to say and do. Because then I’ll pretend to do it. It doesn’t matter how much you yell at me, I’m still an introvert with a broken arm, but I also don’t want to look silly by being the only person not singing and dancing. And I know I’m not alone in that feeling.
3. Lead By Example!
Beggars Union did this super well. They danced around on stage, made great faces, and set the tone for the audience. When it comes to local music, the audience is just as timid as the band. We don’t know how we’re supposed to act, and the crowd is usually on a first name basis with at least one performer, so if we fuck up somehow, in some way… we’ll never live it down.
But if we see, for instance, Beggars Union running around, making faces, grooving around, joking about… oh shit, game on! The bar has been set!
4. You’re Better Than You Think!
So there’s this band called Folded Face. And there’s only, like, 3 people in the band. But they have these pedals that make them sound like a huge 6 piece outfit on a huge stage. Crazy, ain’t it?
Or this band called Beggars Union who can play any style you throw at them like some sort of fucking music school savants, but the cool music school savants because they met at CU Boulder which isn’t really a music school so they don’t have to be nerdy about it.
Though there is this other band called Orna who plays technical prog rock that makes you want to be nerdy about it because the music has interesting layers that you really want to dissect.
And even this band called Heart Shaped Zombie whose music is literally made for the stage. It’s rock ‘n roll baby! Yeah, when they eventually record an album it’ll sound good… but then you’ll hear it live and have an epiphany of, “THIS is how it’s meant to be enjoyed! When are they playing next?”
5. Let Your Babies Go!
The hardest thing to do. You work hard in the garage crafting songs, getting them perfect for the stage, playing them hundreds, maybe thousands of times (and that’s just in your sleep!). And then you cradle them on stage so no one can experience them.
Let those babies go. We’ll be there to catch them. Most people don’t like infanticide – we got you!
I’m not an expert. But also, I’ve seen a shit ton of concerts with photo proof. I enjoyed myself tonight. Mostly. My arm hurt a bit. It’s fine. I have drugs. Here’s some photos.
Wanna help me pay my medical bills even though I hurt myself being stupid? Why not buy a shirt or make a donation? And if you’re a local band, I know merch is expensive, but when you can afford it, people love buying sick shirts at shows.
