Surprise, that’s me! And whenever I go to these types of shows, I struggle a bit. Everyone is there doing what the good Lord intended, like psychedelics or the maryjawana or the boozie booze, and I’m sometimes drinking water, but it depends on the venue because some venues have shit bathrooms. So I thought I’d do all y’all sober people a solid, or not depending on how much you agree with the below, and give you my 5 tips to enjoying this type of music.
Today’s list brought to you by The Floozies. And Late Night Radio. And some other musicians I’ll put in the tags.
Starting at the top and working our way down:
5) DON’T ARRIVE TOO EARLY OR TOO LATE
Easy peasy, just arrive perfectly on time, just like that. Don’t arrive too early – the crowd isn’t intoxicated enough to be entertaining, and I have no idea how impressive DJing is. No disrespect to the openers who were DJs, I just literally don’t know what I’m watching or listening to. How much of it did you make? What are you doing at that table? Are you just dancing behind a table or are you actually doing something nobody can see? I literally have no idea, and therefore, no frame of reference, and therefore, what should I be feeling?
And don’t arrive too late – you want to get a good people viewing area. Not in front. Go somewhere in back, high up. Those spots do fill up quickly, so arrive simply at the perfect time. That’s my tip number one.
4) ADMIRE THE LIGHT SHOW
I guess it makes sense, that if you’re making music for people tripping balls in some way, shape, or form, you also need to make a sick ass light show. And when I say “sick ass”, I mean “sick ass”. Lasers, fog, spotlights, the works. Enjoy it. You’ll be one of the only ones with an objective memory of it.
3) FEEL YOUR CONSTIPATION VIBRATE AWAY
No venue, not even a frat house party, is going to put on an electronic show without investing in some subwoofers. You’ll feel the 808’s obliterating the blockages in your intestines. Not only will you feel healthy because you’re sober, but you’ll feel healthy because you won’t be so bloated anymore! AND you’ll be aware enough to not shit your pants!
Not that anyone did that tonight. And not like I got a photo of someone doing that but out of respect am choosing not to post it and let’s please move on.
2) ENJOY THE MUSICIANSHIP
DJing I know nothing about. Playing instruments live I know a lot about. And damn, Haywyre and The Floozies make it look so easy. You’ve probably picked up a guitar or piano at some point in your life – you know it’s tough. These dudes put on masterclasses of stacking live sounds to create the beauty that is whichever group you’re listening to. It really is something to behold and appreciate. And I do hope you find it as fulfilling as I did.
1) PEOPLE WATCH
You probably thought I’d end this list on a cliche thing like “dance!” No, get fucked. There’s so many fun costumes, so many fun glowy things, so many fun dance routines, that why not just people watch? The music will impress or confuse you, but the people so intensely watching glowy fingers dance will entertain the bajezus out of you. As will the glow-in-the-dark whips, the Halloween costumes, the nearly nude costumes, the wigs, the glow in the dark hula hoops – have fun people watching.
Anyways, I had an unexpected and still confusing panic attack during the show. In some entertainment venues, such as haunted houses, that would be seen as a fantastic review! Are electronic shows the same? Is that a glowing review? Should I go see a doctor if it’s still persisting? Who knows?! You do – be my WebMD and let me know in the comments below. Also let me know if it’s something The Floozies should be proud of or not.
Want more lists to help, or not help, you on your musical journey? Subscribe to our mailing list! Or bookmark us. Whatever you need to do to let me slip into your life.
