And it might be because I’m not old as dirt.
That’s how this whole bizness was going to go down. Which I thought was fine, because my grandma is also old and I love her. I thought this because, walking into the venue between doors and show, that’s what I saw. In my daily life, I’m usually the oldest person. When I go to concerts, I’m usually the average person. But tonight, early on, it looked like I would be the youngest.
I then thought to myself, “wow self, these people look like my parent’s friends!” And my parents definitely wouldn’t be able to last through a DJ set, a Devon Lamarr Organ Trio set, and a Motet set. Would these strangers, who would be peers of my prehistoric parents, be able to?
And those were the preconceived notions and stereotypes I started the evening with. But that’s not how the evening went.
For starters, a lot of twenty something and thirty something year olds trickled in. It started as an AARP fan forum, which is how I make fun of my dad, but evolved into a family reunion, which sounds a bit weird because I didn’t feel that close to anybody, even as the night went on.
Then, a lot of the older crowd put the younger crowd to shame with their dance moves. Like, don’t get me wrong, the young folks represented, but man did they slag off, whereas my parent’s old folks home represented really fucking well. Embarrassingly well in fact, pun intended.
And finally, I mis-aged like a ton of people. In the dark, I saw this group of old women killing it. I was intrigued as fuck watching them not break a hip somehow. Then when the lights came on, I realised about half of them were also shitting their diapers during Y2K. And not because of incontinence.
Anyways, now I don’t know what to do. I can’t pit young against old – my peers were shown up on the dance floor tonight and I’m about 2 old person jokes away from receiving an angry email.
But this was a jammy jam funking time and a half – I could just improvise like they did. Here’s an improvised train of thought from tonight:
The power in The Motet’s singer Sarah Clarke’s voice is literally the reason why I bought a shirt and as a Coloradan I’m proud they’re representing us on the road. Delvon Lamarr Organ Trio brought me back to my STS9 and Victor Wooten days, which granted wasn’t that long ago, and made me want to pick up a guitar again. DJ Borham Lee confused the fuck out of me because his set would’ve made my folks… embarrass me to death as they tried to figure out how to interact with his music.
Regardless, before tonight, I hadn’t heard of Delvon Lamarr or The Motet. And that has been a recipe for success so far in my life. When it comes to finding new music that doesn’t fucking suck, I’m batting better than Babe Ruth. And tonight was no exception.
But once, just once, I want to come to you guys after attending one of these shows with a headliner that absolutely blows just so I can give a shit ton of backhanded compliments. You know, things like they would be the perfect soundtrack for an early 1900’s movie.
But tonight wasn’t one of those nights. Tonight was fantastic.
I am on a hunt now. If you’re a shit band with a headline show coming up, email me!
I am serious though. If you’re a shit band, the FAQ page has my contact information and I’d love to attend your show and tell people how awful you are.
