I know, it’s weird to see a vampire movie on here an account of I’m not a fan of them. But this is the only horror film playing, it’s out of theatres soon, and tickets are $6 on Tuesday, so I went.
My vampire repertoire isn’t large, but this was one of my favourite portrayals of them for the simple fact that they were, in fact, vampires. No bullshit. Literally, the main cast could have just told them to “fuck off” and waited until morning and been fine. Which brings me to its flaws…
The stakes were lower than dirt, and they were low for a few reasons. One, the first like, hour of the film is basically unnecessary world building. It’s people going, “the twins are back?” without any dive into their backstories, personal lives, etc. This meant they didn’t build any tension. Secondly, despite them making sure you knew this was racist as fuck 1930’s Mississippi (what’s changed?), and all these slaves were partying in a barn formerly owned by the KKK… the KKK was never a threat. So there was no threat besides for vampires that need an invite and you didn’t care who lived or died because an hour of “the twins are back” just doesn’t provide the stakes we’re looking for.
But even with it’s flaws, I didn’t feel like I wasted two hours of my life watching it. The vampires are great. The music is bangin’ as fuck. And the effects make you forget you’re watching Michael B. Jordan talk with Michael B. Jordan because it looks more like Michael B. Jordan talking with Michael C. Jordan. And if that’s ok with you, than who cares about stakes?
Well, the vampires. Because, you know, a stake through the heart kills them. Which happens at some point in the story.
